Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Sobre Mi Hijo, Que No Es Mi Hijo Mas
In the end, all the insisting and fighting and pushing came down to this:
She's right.
And I know it.
And I finally admitted it.
And all the internal upset, anger, clenching, is gone. Hello, blank-ish and contentful soul. Time to start over again, to the one day, distractions down and hopes up (or at least not flagging), snapping free in the cleansing wind like the half-staff banners on Lomas NE.
There are times when it's worth it.
In the end, all the insisting and fighting and pushing came down to this:
She's right.
And I know it.
And I finally admitted it.
And all the internal upset, anger, clenching, is gone. Hello, blank-ish and contentful soul. Time to start over again, to the one day, distractions down and hopes up (or at least not flagging), snapping free in the cleansing wind like the half-staff banners on Lomas NE.
There are times when it's worth it.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Mi Shebeyrach
I got a call today saying that someone close to me might die tonight. He's had some big health problems all his life, so this illness isn't a huge surprise, but the suddenness is. He's been hospitalized for five days now and is just getting worse.
So if my praying/thinking folks could send out some prayer or thoughts, I'd be grateful. His name is Corey ben Acoma.
I got a call today saying that someone close to me might die tonight. He's had some big health problems all his life, so this illness isn't a huge surprise, but the suddenness is. He's been hospitalized for five days now and is just getting worse.
So if my praying/thinking folks could send out some prayer or thoughts, I'd be grateful. His name is Corey ben Acoma.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Mirando
In the past week I've seen:
-- a business card for Milagro Painting. That good, huh?
-- a newspaper advertisement from Veterans for Peace:
EVERY DAY
Two American Soldiers
DIE in Iraq!
We think this is bad!
(website and phone # follow)
-- stencil graffiti reading
ONLY
YOU
KNOW
HOW
-- and of course, stencil graffiti reading
STENCILS ARE
TRENDY
And then back when J and Caleb were visiting her mom, they were supposed to fly back here and arrive at 10PM-ish, but their flight got delayed and delayed and delayed, so there I was at the airport, bored out my mind, and I went and talked to so many people. Vet out of Iraq, nice ladies from Somalia, rude white dudes who worked in security, etc. I saw a teenage boy who reminded me so much of Matt that I didn't know what to do. Hug him? Take him home with me? Make sure he has enough friends and food and money and everything? But he's a stranger. Tall skinny slouching stranger with that glance-look-away gaze, that trying-to-be-cool,-trying-to-be-hard-ass facial expression.
Eventually I went and talked to the folks at the shuttle counters. Those guys gave me a newspaper from Santa Fe. I sat there, read it, marked up this article where a self-hating Latino dude waxed poetic about new laws further persecuting "illegal immigrants." No son inmigrantes, dudes. Son indigenas. White folks are the immigrants. Anybody indio coming up here from Mexico? Is just coming back to the land his or her ancestors were developing and governing before we got here and started murdering everybody for no reason. Did Christopher Columbus apply for a freaking visa before he trucked over here in 1492? No. His ass just showed up and started enslaving folks and committing genocide. So we're bitching about people returning to land that is rightfully theirs because . . . ?
But we'll come back to that some other day when my blood pressure decreases. After all, a burning question awaits: What did my horoscope say?
"You have a positive attitude and an ability to understand more of what is happening. Your creativity emerges, taking you in new directions. Tonight: hang out."
I kid you not. Caleb's?
"Stay centered even if money matters could be extreme or overwhelming. Your imagination adds vigor to your work and ability to contribute to different situations. Tonight: Easy does it."
And J's?
"Your energy is increased by what goes down and the general mood of cooperation. Listen to what someone shares. Tonight: Out late."
And there they were, 1AM, Caleb asleep on J's shoulder.
In the past week I've seen:
-- a business card for Milagro Painting. That good, huh?
-- a newspaper advertisement from Veterans for Peace:
EVERY DAY
Two American Soldiers
DIE in Iraq!
We think this is bad!
(website and phone # follow)
-- stencil graffiti reading
ONLY
YOU
KNOW
HOW
-- and of course, stencil graffiti reading
STENCILS ARE
TRENDY
And then back when J and Caleb were visiting her mom, they were supposed to fly back here and arrive at 10PM-ish, but their flight got delayed and delayed and delayed, so there I was at the airport, bored out my mind, and I went and talked to so many people. Vet out of Iraq, nice ladies from Somalia, rude white dudes who worked in security, etc. I saw a teenage boy who reminded me so much of Matt that I didn't know what to do. Hug him? Take him home with me? Make sure he has enough friends and food and money and everything? But he's a stranger. Tall skinny slouching stranger with that glance-look-away gaze, that trying-to-be-cool,-trying-to-be-hard-ass facial expression.
Eventually I went and talked to the folks at the shuttle counters. Those guys gave me a newspaper from Santa Fe. I sat there, read it, marked up this article where a self-hating Latino dude waxed poetic about new laws further persecuting "illegal immigrants." No son inmigrantes, dudes. Son indigenas. White folks are the immigrants. Anybody indio coming up here from Mexico? Is just coming back to the land his or her ancestors were developing and governing before we got here and started murdering everybody for no reason. Did Christopher Columbus apply for a freaking visa before he trucked over here in 1492? No. His ass just showed up and started enslaving folks and committing genocide. So we're bitching about people returning to land that is rightfully theirs because . . . ?
But we'll come back to that some other day when my blood pressure decreases. After all, a burning question awaits: What did my horoscope say?
"You have a positive attitude and an ability to understand more of what is happening. Your creativity emerges, taking you in new directions. Tonight: hang out."
I kid you not. Caleb's?
"Stay centered even if money matters could be extreme or overwhelming. Your imagination adds vigor to your work and ability to contribute to different situations. Tonight: Easy does it."
And J's?
"Your energy is increased by what goes down and the general mood of cooperation. Listen to what someone shares. Tonight: Out late."
And there they were, 1AM, Caleb asleep on J's shoulder.
