Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Conversation Between Me and My Body
So I've been a vegetarian for about a month now. Not for moral or health reasons, just because [discussion of the autopsies I witnessed in EMT school] + [Jessica tearing chicken meat off the bone] = meat revulsion. The strange thing is how much the past month has reprogrammed not just my eating habits but also my eating desires, as illustrated by the following conversation that occurred today between me and my body:
MY BODY: Ooo! Ooo! What did you get me?
ME: A bacon mushroom melt cheeseburger.
MY BODY: (silence)
ME: Did you hear me?
MY BODY: Um, can I have some beans and rice?
ME (hopefully): It's got lots of cheese . . .
MY BODY: And broccoli?
ME: No.
MY BODY: I don't think I like this.
ME: Not even the mushrooms? Come on! Mushrooms!
MY BODY: Are you sure I can't have some beans and rice?
ME: Here. Potatoes.
MY BODY: Baked? With cheese and onions and broccoli?
ME: Um, french fries. But ketchup!
MY BODY: Ketchup is not a freaking vegetable.
(suspicious silence)
MY BODY: I bet that's not orange juice in that cup, either, is it.
ME: Coke.
MY BODY: Is it at least the brown, liquid kind of coke?
ME: Yes.
MY BODY: Guess it could be worse, then. (pause) Schu, why don't you love me anymore?
(insert icky, throw-uppy feeling here)
So I've been a vegetarian for about a month now. Not for moral or health reasons, just because [discussion of the autopsies I witnessed in EMT school] + [Jessica tearing chicken meat off the bone] = meat revulsion. The strange thing is how much the past month has reprogrammed not just my eating habits but also my eating desires, as illustrated by the following conversation that occurred today between me and my body:
MY BODY: Ooo! Ooo! What did you get me?
ME: A bacon mushroom melt cheeseburger.
MY BODY: (silence)
ME: Did you hear me?
MY BODY: Um, can I have some beans and rice?
ME (hopefully): It's got lots of cheese . . .
MY BODY: And broccoli?
ME: No.
MY BODY: I don't think I like this.
ME: Not even the mushrooms? Come on! Mushrooms!
MY BODY: Are you sure I can't have some beans and rice?
ME: Here. Potatoes.
MY BODY: Baked? With cheese and onions and broccoli?
ME: Um, french fries. But ketchup!
MY BODY: Ketchup is not a freaking vegetable.
(suspicious silence)
MY BODY: I bet that's not orange juice in that cup, either, is it.
ME: Coke.
MY BODY: Is it at least the brown, liquid kind of coke?
ME: Yes.
MY BODY: Guess it could be worse, then. (pause) Schu, why don't you love me anymore?
(insert icky, throw-uppy feeling here)
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Neo-Melubrina
So. There's this drug designed to take care of little fevers, little headaches, flu-like symptoms, etc. -- it's supposed to be used the way ibuprofen or acetaminophen is. Its generic name is metamizole sodium, and it's been banned in the US since 1977, in most European and some African countries since the 1980s or 1990s. Why? Because it suppresses your immune system. Sometimes (one study says in 1 of 3000 patients) to the point where it causes agranulocytosis, which is a condition where you have basically no white blood cells. At which point you are 30% likely to die from the immunosuppression. So if you believe the research, it kills 1 of every 9000 people who take it. And that's not all. Africans/Latinos/"people of Mediterranean descent" are highly likely to have a totally separate severe allergic reaction to it. Which can also kill them. Not to mention the way it's correlated with increased lifetime leukemia risk and also prevents blood from coagulating properly. All of which makes me very happy that it's been illegal here for 28 years. But guess what?
Aventis, a German-based drug company with branches all over Europe and the US, still manufactures it. For sale in Mexico, Central America, Latin America, and parts of Africa. The only places it is still legal. And Caleb's family thinks that it's this wonderful cure-all drug. "It heals you. That's why it's so expensive." So J told them about how it actually keeps you from getting better, suppressing your body's natural ways of fighting disease while not actually destroying the virus or bacteria that is making you sick to begin with. And they were like, "Oh yeah. It's bad for you. But it's good for us." At which point we had to whip out the case studies about Latinos dying from it. At which point they were like "Hmmm." But DIDN'T STOP HAVING MARTINA TAKE IT! When she's FREAKING BREASTFEEDING a TWO-WEEK-OLD and it increases leukemia risk especially in fetuses and infants!
They were like "Yeah, she said she felt weak and had a headache, so we closed all the windows, jacked up the heat, piled blankets on her, and made her drink beer. But she just kept getting worse. And then we took her temperature and it was 99, so we gave her Neo-Melubrina." SHE GAVE BIRTH TWO WEEKS AGO. SHE HAS NOT GOTTEN DECENT SLEEP IN MONTHS. OF COURSE SHE FEELS WEAK AND HAS A HEADACHE. 99 DEGREES IS NOT A FEVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S 95 FREAKING DEGREES INSIDE AND YOU HAVE HER COVERED WITH FIVE BLANKETS. ALCOHOL DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAVE ANY MEDICINAL PROPERTIES, ALTHOUGH NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE ALL BORRACHOS. I hate you, M-C family. But not as much as the crazy b*tches who are still making a drug that kills people.
So. There's this drug designed to take care of little fevers, little headaches, flu-like symptoms, etc. -- it's supposed to be used the way ibuprofen or acetaminophen is. Its generic name is metamizole sodium, and it's been banned in the US since 1977, in most European and some African countries since the 1980s or 1990s. Why? Because it suppresses your immune system. Sometimes (one study says in 1 of 3000 patients) to the point where it causes agranulocytosis, which is a condition where you have basically no white blood cells. At which point you are 30% likely to die from the immunosuppression. So if you believe the research, it kills 1 of every 9000 people who take it. And that's not all. Africans/Latinos/"people of Mediterranean descent" are highly likely to have a totally separate severe allergic reaction to it. Which can also kill them. Not to mention the way it's correlated with increased lifetime leukemia risk and also prevents blood from coagulating properly. All of which makes me very happy that it's been illegal here for 28 years. But guess what?
Aventis, a German-based drug company with branches all over Europe and the US, still manufactures it. For sale in Mexico, Central America, Latin America, and parts of Africa. The only places it is still legal. And Caleb's family thinks that it's this wonderful cure-all drug. "It heals you. That's why it's so expensive." So J told them about how it actually keeps you from getting better, suppressing your body's natural ways of fighting disease while not actually destroying the virus or bacteria that is making you sick to begin with. And they were like, "Oh yeah. It's bad for you. But it's good for us." At which point we had to whip out the case studies about Latinos dying from it. At which point they were like "Hmmm." But DIDN'T STOP HAVING MARTINA TAKE IT! When she's FREAKING BREASTFEEDING a TWO-WEEK-OLD and it increases leukemia risk especially in fetuses and infants!
They were like "Yeah, she said she felt weak and had a headache, so we closed all the windows, jacked up the heat, piled blankets on her, and made her drink beer. But she just kept getting worse. And then we took her temperature and it was 99, so we gave her Neo-Melubrina." SHE GAVE BIRTH TWO WEEKS AGO. SHE HAS NOT GOTTEN DECENT SLEEP IN MONTHS. OF COURSE SHE FEELS WEAK AND HAS A HEADACHE. 99 DEGREES IS NOT A FEVER, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S 95 FREAKING DEGREES INSIDE AND YOU HAVE HER COVERED WITH FIVE BLANKETS. ALCOHOL DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAVE ANY MEDICINAL PROPERTIES, ALTHOUGH NOW I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE ALL BORRACHOS. I hate you, M-C family. But not as much as the crazy b*tches who are still making a drug that kills people.
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
"The command, after all, was 'Take and eat,' not 'Take and understand' "
