Friday, September 30, 2005
I wonder sometimes what to believe.
Does it matter that I pray or that I work or that I stay?
Do the words that rise like smoke from incense burners in my throat
only evaporate in evanescent days? Does the praise
I sing to G-d to make me bigger reconfigure
any kind of larger scheme or is it lost? What's the cost
in this world or any other
of the lies we fake? words we break? soul we smother?
Does He know? And does He care? Can we see it anywhere
in Creation like a breath in fine-grained sigh? Why
is this world so incomplete? Couldn't G-d create, repeat
the truth of all Hisself until we tumbled clean? What does it mean
that a man who was more than a man came and preached,
came and died, came and rose, came and reached
straight into Hell and pulled our scrawny selves on out? What's that about?
How's a commie getting killed gon' make me free?
Because, you see, I don't know that this nova really goes,
when you tellin me the star shone overhead-- until I'm dead,
can't confirm this mystic fever-- can't deny it either, gonna wait for Peter.
Thank you for the inspiration, Shayna's Fristailer Rebbe.
Does it matter that I pray or that I work or that I stay?
Do the words that rise like smoke from incense burners in my throat
only evaporate in evanescent days? Does the praise
I sing to G-d to make me bigger reconfigure
any kind of larger scheme or is it lost? What's the cost
in this world or any other
of the lies we fake? words we break? soul we smother?
Does He know? And does He care? Can we see it anywhere
in Creation like a breath in fine-grained sigh? Why
is this world so incomplete? Couldn't G-d create, repeat
the truth of all Hisself until we tumbled clean? What does it mean
that a man who was more than a man came and preached,
came and died, came and rose, came and reached
straight into Hell and pulled our scrawny selves on out? What's that about?
How's a commie getting killed gon' make me free?
Because, you see, I don't know that this nova really goes,
when you tellin me the star shone overhead-- until I'm dead,
can't confirm this mystic fever-- can't deny it either, gonna wait for Peter.
Thank you for the inspiration, Shayna's Fristailer Rebbe.
Speaking of "arguing about semantics"
Hey, do I have any semanticists/pragmatists out there who know about anaphora and distance relations?
How do you personally parse these sentences and why?
(1) "It's Shabbat and I have a kipa in my pocket and I'm reading about acoustic and auditory phonetics because G-d is good"
(2) "I almost dropped Caleb when we saw the drunk white college guy because he screamed"
What other kinds can you think of?
Hey, do I have any semanticists/pragmatists out there who know about anaphora and distance relations?
How do you personally parse these sentences and why?
(1) "It's Shabbat and I have a kipa in my pocket and I'm reading about acoustic and auditory phonetics because G-d is good"
(2) "I almost dropped Caleb when we saw the drunk white college guy because he screamed"
What other kinds can you think of?
Monday, September 26, 2005
Benedict is still my Pope
Anybody surprised? No, I thought not. Oh, look, it's people with "AIDS: G-d's Punishment for Gays" signs. And look behind them! Smug non-Catholic Christians talking shit about the True Church! Which is worse? I'm not sure!
Dear Christians who aren't Catholic but still feel the need to make uninformed, unhelpful comments about my Church, putting me in the awkward and soul-squishing position of having to explain to you the absolute reason behind the arguments that make me want to walk out in front of a bus:
The Church's position against homosexual seminarians is consistent with earlier writings elucidating the view of the Church on gay people, namely that we are not necessarily to blame for being flamers, but that a same-sex orientation is intrinsically disordered (i.e. bad).
Yes, Christian homo activists have tried to argue that even if being gay is a disordered, fallen state, there are other fallen states (e.g. a predisposition to steal, lie, or murder) that would affect a man's ability and suitability to serve G-d and G-d's people. Yet the Church is not on a campaign to root out those kinds of people. Therefore, the Church is being inconsistent and should either (1) go after people with other fallen dispositions or (2) (and this is the one the homo activists want) stop going after homos.
The argument of the Christian homo activists sets up an easily demolished straw man but does not address the issue. Because of the exalted place of the romantic relationship in Church theology-- it's kind of a training grounds for a person to perfect his or her soul in preparation for unity with G-d upon death-- sexual orientation is a particularly problematic area to be disordered in. Being gay goes beyond the scope of a simple deadly sin like lust. It indicates that a person is somehow unable or unwilling to be united with another human in a marriage bond, which in turn casts doubt on that individual's ability or willingness to be united with G-d in the World to Come. That is why Catholic flamers are challenged to remain celibate, focusing all our relationship attention into our relationship with G-d. Most people just get to be straight and get the help of another person in perfecting their souls. We are set the extra-high hurdle of having to rely totally on G-d for that help even as our ability to connect with G-d is more limited.
Well, priests have to be celibate anyway, so homos might as well be priests and priests might as well be homos, right?
No.
Because a flamer is already called to celibacy by nature of his flamitude, he is not relinquishing anything by becoming a celibate priest, and his vow of chastity is redundant, false, not a hardship for him. He doesn't make a free choice the way a straight priest would. Additionally, how can the marriage of a straight couple be blessed by someone who flat-out doesn't have the capacity for a similar union? Is someone who is baseline not set up to be united with G-d really an appropriate substitute for J-sus Christ in the Eucharist? The arguments go on, and if you want more, I'll write them to you, but I'm sick of this.
Quit bitching about how the Church is sooooo meeeeeeean not to ordain fags and start addressing the really fucked-up things entwined in this, like the CLEARLY OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT UP STATISTICALLY WRONG notion that gay people are child molesters. And since when does child abuse have anything to do with sex anyway? Anybody care to point out how getting rid of the flamers is not going to protect the children?
No, of course not, because we're too busy bickering about politics to deal with the real issue.
Anybody surprised? No, I thought not. Oh, look, it's people with "AIDS: G-d's Punishment for Gays" signs. And look behind them! Smug non-Catholic Christians talking shit about the True Church! Which is worse? I'm not sure!
Dear Christians who aren't Catholic but still feel the need to make uninformed, unhelpful comments about my Church, putting me in the awkward and soul-squishing position of having to explain to you the absolute reason behind the arguments that make me want to walk out in front of a bus:
The Church's position against homosexual seminarians is consistent with earlier writings elucidating the view of the Church on gay people, namely that we are not necessarily to blame for being flamers, but that a same-sex orientation is intrinsically disordered (i.e. bad).
Yes, Christian homo activists have tried to argue that even if being gay is a disordered, fallen state, there are other fallen states (e.g. a predisposition to steal, lie, or murder) that would affect a man's ability and suitability to serve G-d and G-d's people. Yet the Church is not on a campaign to root out those kinds of people. Therefore, the Church is being inconsistent and should either (1) go after people with other fallen dispositions or (2) (and this is the one the homo activists want) stop going after homos.
The argument of the Christian homo activists sets up an easily demolished straw man but does not address the issue. Because of the exalted place of the romantic relationship in Church theology-- it's kind of a training grounds for a person to perfect his or her soul in preparation for unity with G-d upon death-- sexual orientation is a particularly problematic area to be disordered in. Being gay goes beyond the scope of a simple deadly sin like lust. It indicates that a person is somehow unable or unwilling to be united with another human in a marriage bond, which in turn casts doubt on that individual's ability or willingness to be united with G-d in the World to Come. That is why Catholic flamers are challenged to remain celibate, focusing all our relationship attention into our relationship with G-d. Most people just get to be straight and get the help of another person in perfecting their souls. We are set the extra-high hurdle of having to rely totally on G-d for that help even as our ability to connect with G-d is more limited.
Well, priests have to be celibate anyway, so homos might as well be priests and priests might as well be homos, right?
No.
Because a flamer is already called to celibacy by nature of his flamitude, he is not relinquishing anything by becoming a celibate priest, and his vow of chastity is redundant, false, not a hardship for him. He doesn't make a free choice the way a straight priest would. Additionally, how can the marriage of a straight couple be blessed by someone who flat-out doesn't have the capacity for a similar union? Is someone who is baseline not set up to be united with G-d really an appropriate substitute for J-sus Christ in the Eucharist? The arguments go on, and if you want more, I'll write them to you, but I'm sick of this.
Quit bitching about how the Church is sooooo meeeeeeean not to ordain fags and start addressing the really fucked-up things entwined in this, like the CLEARLY OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT UP STATISTICALLY WRONG notion that gay people are child molesters. And since when does child abuse have anything to do with sex anyway? Anybody care to point out how getting rid of the flamers is not going to protect the children?
No, of course not, because we're too busy bickering about politics to deal with the real issue.
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Taking the #8 north to Karl and 161-ish,
J met a woman yesterday and talked to her about toddlers. Said "It's so hard with the baby sometimes. I'm not sure how to make it." Lady replied, "Oh, no, you'll be fine. It's not that bad. You can do it. I did it." Enquiring later in the conversation, J discovered that said lady recently left each of her three kids with their dads and took off for a year. "Sometimes you just got to get a damn break."
J met a woman yesterday and talked to her about toddlers. Said "It's so hard with the baby sometimes. I'm not sure how to make it." Lady replied, "Oh, no, you'll be fine. It's not that bad. You can do it. I did it." Enquiring later in the conversation, J discovered that said lady recently left each of her three kids with their dads and took off for a year. "Sometimes you just got to get a damn break."
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Confessions
1. Sometimes when Caleb and I are out and white people stare at us or ask me questions like "Where'd you get him?", I pretend like I don't speak English. (TO CALEB: "Calebcito, miras las personas blancas? Estan pendejas pinchas." TO WHITE PERSON: "Uh . . . sorry . . . sorry . . . no ingles . . .")
2. When I was little, I used to see how much of my juice I could pour into my brother's milk before he'd notice. After he noticed and claimed it tasted funny, I'd tell him he tasted funny.
3. I sob every time I listen to the song "Enamorado de un Fantasma," where the guy's living all alone in the old house since his wife died and he hardly leaves because he's still in love with her and being there reminds him of her and his friends are all like "Dude, we want to burn down this place. You are living in the past," and he's like "But I see her face in the garden." AWWWWW I'm about to start crying.
4. A few months ago when J turned 23, I completely forgot about her birthday until the morning of when I woke up early to go to the firehouse and thought, "What else?" I then frantically scrambled for markers and made her a slightly pathetic drawing of us hanging out outside and Caleb attempting to eat an entire tree, finishing it approximately three minutes before she woke up. But she liked it, so I didn't tell her.
5. I don't like grits. Really, really, really don't like grits, not even with cream and a boatload of sugar.
6. Somewhere deep inside, I actually do like school, even college.
7. I've surreptitiously stolen excess towels, shirts, and soap bars from my mom, brother, and dad respectively. If their punk ass would give a little tzedeka every now and then, I wouldn't have to. (Oh, hi, Dad!)
8. I think my mom is cool.
9. No, Dad, you're not as cool as Mom. Sorry.
10. Most of Caleb's toys come from Dumpsters.
1. Sometimes when Caleb and I are out and white people stare at us or ask me questions like "Where'd you get him?", I pretend like I don't speak English. (TO CALEB: "Calebcito, miras las personas blancas? Estan pendejas pinchas." TO WHITE PERSON: "Uh . . . sorry . . . sorry . . . no ingles . . .")
2. When I was little, I used to see how much of my juice I could pour into my brother's milk before he'd notice. After he noticed and claimed it tasted funny, I'd tell him he tasted funny.
3. I sob every time I listen to the song "Enamorado de un Fantasma," where the guy's living all alone in the old house since his wife died and he hardly leaves because he's still in love with her and being there reminds him of her and his friends are all like "Dude, we want to burn down this place. You are living in the past," and he's like "But I see her face in the garden." AWWWWW I'm about to start crying.
4. A few months ago when J turned 23, I completely forgot about her birthday until the morning of when I woke up early to go to the firehouse and thought, "What else?" I then frantically scrambled for markers and made her a slightly pathetic drawing of us hanging out outside and Caleb attempting to eat an entire tree, finishing it approximately three minutes before she woke up. But she liked it, so I didn't tell her.
5. I don't like grits. Really, really, really don't like grits, not even with cream and a boatload of sugar.
6. Somewhere deep inside, I actually do like school, even college.
7. I've surreptitiously stolen excess towels, shirts, and soap bars from my mom, brother, and dad respectively. If their punk ass would give a little tzedeka every now and then, I wouldn't have to. (Oh, hi, Dad!)
8. I think my mom is cool.
9. No, Dad, you're not as cool as Mom. Sorry.
10. Most of Caleb's toys come from Dumpsters.
Thursday, September 01, 2005
Canciones!
The other day on the bus I made up a song for J:
No tengo hambre
y no tengo hombre asi
pero tengo dos hombros
Y te quiero
te amo
te adoro
Y yo quiero hacerte feliz.
English translation:
I'm not hungry
and I don't have a man either
but I do have two shoulders
and I love you
I love you
I love you
And I want to make you happy.
She made up a song for me:
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
(repeat)
We are the awesomest singer/songwriters ever.
The other day on the bus I made up a song for J:
No tengo hambre
y no tengo hombre asi
pero tengo dos hombros
Y te quiero
te amo
te adoro
Y yo quiero hacerte feliz.
English translation:
I'm not hungry
and I don't have a man either
but I do have two shoulders
and I love you
I love you
I love you
And I want to make you happy.
She made up a song for me:
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
We're on the bus doo doo doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.
(repeat)
We are the awesomest singer/songwriters ever.
